But without struggling…

Today on my list of things to write about it says I should share what people can most likely find you doing when you’re not at work. Motherhood doesn’t end and since I’m temporarily unemployed until the next school year, really I’m struggling right now to beat back the demons of wanting to sleep all summer and balancing the housework and sport schedules of my children.

In a recent email someone wrote: “But without struggling, we would never be able to learn or grow.”

But do we have to struggle? Really? Do we?

Isn’t there some magic prescription for making motherhood easier? I feel like I missed that memo. There are so many options out there on how to get help and yet the real challenge is actually taking that step to implement new findings and methods into your daily life.

The easiest changes I’ve made in life right now is adding running to my daily schedule. It’s not fun at all to be fat and it’s not fun to try to get skinny. I say this with all respect of the people trying to lose. I’m currently around 250 and I spent most of my younger years at 150-160. I do get some sense of satisfaction when I get out and finish what I set out to do. Yesterday it was beating my two mile time. I didn’t quite make it but that first mile I was doing a lot better than the last half of my run.

Housework eats up so many minutes of my day. I wish I could just go minimalist and throw everything out and start over. I’m trying my hardest to remove extra things from my life, but with a family of three other people who somehow seem to be hoarders I’m losing my battle with toys, laundry and dishes.

Today I spot cleaned my bathroom sinks, did a quick swish of the toilet, quickly cleaned the kitchen counters and tidied up the living room. Guess what? It still looks dirty in here! Why can’t I have one of those houses that just stays clean?

The struggle is real on that matter.

And on top of that I now have the added scheduling of visits to see my grandmother. I don’t hold these visits as anything other than being precious moments to have with her, but there is that part of me that is already drowning in things that was hoping for fewer responsibilities instead of more.