Little or no time to do things

Things I’ve learned about myself in the last few weeks:

• Even with a plan sometimes things go wrong.
• Worrying about something before it happens is worse than actually going through it.
• Getting back to a normal busy schedule is actually more comforting than I thought it would be.

Stopping and slowing down during COVID has brought me more stress instead of less stress. Watching other people do things that I said I was going to do makes me realize just how much time I’ve wasted.

My usual spring days are spent on a tightly run schedule. Since leaving sports after I played my freshman year I noticed that I’m one that thrives with little or no time to do things. Little or no time to idle dictates when and how I get through the day. Guided by my calendar, the slower pace has been hard to deal with. Too much time leaves me time to procrastinate that I didn’t have preCOVID.

Fresh air matters. If I don’t get myself outside, plant my feet on the earth and take in some sunshine then my whole day can become exhausting and overwhelming. I thought that this whole time off work would be spent doing the things I LOVE spending time doing like writing or crocheting, planning the things I’ve never had time to do like deep cleaning the house and “going minimal”, but it hasn’t.

News mainstream, leftfield or otherwise zaps my brain. I can only hear and listen and look at so much and the political stuff makes my blood boil like it does when I get a touch of road rage. I have left most of it off my blog but there have been a lot of debates happening on my personal page that my husband is frustrated with me about. I don’t know how many friends I’ve cut off due to political rants on both our parts. Who knew politics could really drive away your friends like that?

My goal from today on is to focus on what can be done and how we come out of this better than before, rabbit holes are not my jam. It’s not the most popular opinion, but I can’t wait to get back to five nights a week at the football field mixed in with four nights a week at softball practices.

What have you learned about yourself in this process?