“Home” is something that I miss

The span of these 38 Interesting Questions To Ask Your Mom Right Now is really great! I can’t believe all the baggage that has come up when going through the list of questions. I definitely encourage you to try this kind of therapy! It makes me want to make a personal development journal with questions like this. I’m sure people would benefit from facing things in this intimate way.

Anyway… here are more of my answers:

31. What was life like for you at my age?

If I was to ask my mom this I probably would be surprised with her answer. I know she always seemed like she had her stuff together, but I think she probably was just as clueless as I was when my kids were in 5th grade and 2nd grade.

By the time I reached 5th grade my brother was already in 8th grade so she had a little more experience than I have at 43. She’d already lived overseas and had been away from her parents since college if I’m guessing right. I have been away from my parents for 11 years since they retired out of state and right now I wish more than ever that I could just go over and camp out on my parents couch for an afternoon and recharge. They wouldn’t even have to be there, but being in their house, and “home” is something that I miss. When I was in college I lived an hour and a half away but I would come home to my parents house on the weekend often just so I wouldn’t be alone.

32. What were some of your biggest struggles or insecurities in high school?

I think in high school as with most areas of my life, I feel like I don’t fit in fully. It was proven to me the day I quit basketball when someone clapped as I was leaving, not because they were proud of me for standing up to a coach that was being unfair, but later I found out that they wanted me gone and were glad I life. At the time it wasn’t a big deal because I was just over basketball, but now as an adult it makes me realize that all the insecurities I had about not fitting in weren’t insecurities, but realities!

Being an Army Brat the only time I really feel comfortable is when I’m with my family or when I’m talking to a fellow Army Brat. There is some unspoken connection that Army Brats seem to have that is like no other. It might be because we all kept being “the new kid” and friendships were something that lasted only a few years at a time (before the internet made it possible to reconnect with people).

I still feel to this day a little out of place in my own life. It’s a sad reality, but I’m always caught between worlds and never feel fully comfortable. The closest thing to fitting in I have to that right now is when I go to my daughter’s softball events. The moms there are wonderful and have made me feel like one of the girls quickly. I feel that way too a bit with my son’s football organization, but having to run off to softball makes me feel a little bit disconnected from them because I’m not there 100% of the time.

When COVID took away sports for my kids it also too away my biggest socializing time. I keep encouraging my kids to stay in sports some because I selfishly want to be a part of the parents group from their teams. Is that a bad thing?

How do you handle your insecurities? Do you suck it up and “fake it until you make it” or do you struggle with them on the daily?


Published by Patty Gordon

I’m Patty Gordon, a 40+ year old school lunch lady married to a crane mechanic. Our days are anything but normal as he works “construction worker hours” and I take care of our two elementary school aged kids, Chihuahua Mr Biggs, Pitbull Cali, and French Bulldog MooMoo. I blogged a few years ago under different names but have landed with the 365MomMe.com name this time around. The term 365MomMe comes from the idea that I’m a mom and I’m me 365 days a year. Kids call me Mommy but I see myself as MomMe.

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